MASTERING THE BREAKOVER

As Hollywood “breakovers” prove time and time again, you can move on from a divorce and re-discover a stronger and healthier you.

“BREAKOVER”

Khloe Kardashian, Miranda Lambert, and Reese Witherspoon have all gone through the celeb “breakover” – the makeover that happens following a traumatic divorce. While your happily-ever-after marriage has ended, there are next steps and the things that will help you get back that feeling you call “normal.”

SELF-CARE! TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.

According to Natalie Greggs, a family law attorney from Allen, Texas, “Self-care is the number one thing that gets you through the day.” Though she is a family law attorney, and not a therapist, she advises clients that self-care is the best method to get them through this rough time.

SELF-CARE IS FUTURE WELL-BEING

Self-care is more than just a way to get through each day while you go through your divorce. Self-care is also crucial for the well-being of your future as well. Numerous studies indicate that stress is a cause of long-term health problems. Research also indicates that individuals going through a divorce has a heightened risk for some long-term chronic health problems. This research is even more scarier when faced with the fact that experts mention that 40-50% of all marriages end in divorce.

KEEPING SANE DURING YOUR DIVORCE

Hise are some self-care tips to practice while you go through a divorce: 

Exercise. Gregg advises, “If you’re not on a regular exercise routine, get on one. You don’t have to belong to a gym. You don’t have to do anything fancy. Just take a walk every day.” Khloe Kardashian is a great example of this tip from Gregg. Following a traumatic and long divorce from basketball star Lamar Odom, Kardashian threw herself in a tough workout routine with the help of celeb trainer Gunner Peterson. Even if you’re not going through a divorce, exercise is good for you. For people going through traumatic times, it is especially helpful. Exercise encourages your body to produce endorphins, a feel-good chemical for the brain. Certified integrative nutrition coach and personal trainer Lindsay Hunt, says exercise also helps increase self-confidence, improves sleep, reduces anxiety symptoms, and reduces stress and depression. Any form involving physical movement is helpful such as walking, dancing, swimming, and yoga. The trick is to find something you really enjoy doing. That way chances are you’ll want to keep doing it often and on a regular basis. Another tip is to find a friend or “workout buddy” to help encourage you to get off that couch and get moving. They can also encourage you be holding you accountable for getting up and out. 

Change Your Diet Up. When people are faced with emotional issues it can cause you to lose and/or gain weight. Divorce can increase these ups and down, making them go out of control. You can go from one extreme to another, from completely restricting meals to binging on unhealthy foods. “I had a slender client who, over the course of a year, proceeded to lose probably 50 pounds,” remembers Greggs. “By the end of his case, she was skeletal.” While some may lose weight, others can gain. Mikki Meyer, a licensed marriage and family thisapist, said she had a client who ended up gaining almost 100 pounds. Hunt suggests trying to be proactive and pre-emptive about both diet as well as divorce. Diet has a big part in affecting your mood, which is important during a divorce. Hunt reveals, “Eating the right foods may ease depression and calm anxiety.” He recommends eating three meals a day consisting of fat, carbohydrates, and protein. Having a variety like this helps keep blood sugar levels stable as well as helping to prevent dips leading to cravings. Studies also show that diets high in antioxidants help with depression. So fill that plate high with fruit and veggies. When changing your diet it’s best to try avoiding sugar, salty foods, artificial ingredients, excessive caffeine consumption, and especially alcohol. According to studies, dehydration tends to increase stress hormone levels. Because of this, Hunt recommends drinking lots of water.

MORE HEALTHY FOODS FOR YOUR BRAIN

Omega-3 fatty acids, found in fatty wild fish such as salmon, and nuts, can help brain function and improves your mood. Steel-cut oatmeal also adds serotonin-boosting complex carbohydrates. It is also a comfort food. If you seem to have trouble eating, you might think about drinking your nutrition. You can make bone broth into a soup that’s filled with minerals like magnesium. Your body can easily absorb and helps promotes healthy digestion for upset stomachs. Another way to get nutrition if you have trouble eating is protein shakes. Green vegetable juices are also a good source of nutrition. You can also try taking smaller bites of protein and healthy fats such as eggs, nuts, and avocados. This will help you so you don’t lose too much weight. According to Hunt, “It is important to feed your body even if you are not hungry, as our immune systems become extremely vulnerable and weak during times of sadness and stress. Finding foods that are comforting and easy to get down is important for your health.” 

Try to Keep to a Normal Schedule. Even if it’s hard to return to a normal schedule, it’s important to try. Greggs says, “Consistency is important for your emotional health. Show up to work on time. Have your routine. Make [yourself] and your children go to bed when you usually go to bed. Don’t act like the divorce is ending your life.” 

Get Sunshine. Sunlight boosts vitamin D which your body needs for natural processes and for increasing serotonin levels. Hunt advises, “Aim for sunlight every day.” Studies indicate at least 15 minutes every day is helpful. 

Network of Support. Friendships you had when you were married can be can be difficult to keep after your divorce. According to Meyer, “When people split up, they often lose their friendship bases. Their friends usually pick one or the other; it’s too difficult to have [both couple members] in their lives.” This “division of friends” when you have a division caused by divorce can increase depression, anxiety, and can result in social isolation. If your previous social networks and friends aren’t part of your life anymore, Meyer suggests finding some new ones. There are lots of available options such as support groups, outings by Meetup.com, charity groups you’ve wanted to be involved in, and religious groups. Additional good advice is to avoid social networks and groups your ex-spouse might also be involved with. As Meyer says, “I don’t care if it’s a knitting class, as long as it’s yours.” 

Try to Relax. Stress is never good for anybody. Stress caused by divorce can lead to a number of physical ailments. Gregg says his clients have had hair loss, crashing immune systems, high blood pressure, gastrointestinal issues, and many others. Some ways to eliminate stress or keep it under control is joining a yoga group or get regular massages. He says, “It helps them get grounded. They can breathe, calm themselves down and feel their body again.” There are also a number of free and low-cost option if you can’t afford these activities. Joining a community center offers things like low-cost yoga classes and other programs. You can also ask friends and relatives to give you gift certificates to massage therapists or other types of classes for Christmas and birthday presents.

For advice on divorce, you need the expert law firm of 619 DIVORCE. Schedule a consultation today.

(619) DIVORCE
225 Broadway
San Diego, CA 92101
Phone: (619) 431-3131