DEADBEAT DAD BROUGHT DOWN BY CHERRY PIT

A deadbeat dad, owing $560,000 in child support, was recently arrested after a very odd encounter – he tried to sue a restaurant with claims that he had broken a tooth on a maraschino cherry pit.

DEADBEAT DAD BROUGHT DOWN BY CHERRY PIT

Joseph Stroup, a man dubbed “America’s Most Deadbeat Dad,” was recently arrested after being on the run for almost 20 years. In 1989 Stroup was ordered to pay $100 a month in child support for his four children. After claiming that he was unemployed and medically disabled, the amount was lowered to $14 a month after he said he was unemployed and medically disabled. But in 1996 a U.S. court discovered Stroup was, in fact, heading up a successful online business which he sold for more than $2 million. Stroup had stopped paying child support in June 1996 and as a result, two years later, a warrant was issued for his arrest. But Stroup has recently been brought to justice – as the result of a cherry pit. Stroup had been living in Canada, under the name Joop Cousteau. He often frequented a small restaurant. Scott Winograd, former general manager of the restaurant Stroup liked to visit described how “One day out of the blue, [Stroup] ordered a Cherry Coke, and he wanted eight maraschino cherries in it, which is just bizarre. That just doesn’t happen. “About a minute later, he calls the server over and he’s clutching his jaw and says, ‘I bit into a pit and broke some dental work,’ and he holds this pit up.” The staff at the restaurant became instantly suspicious – maraschino cherries generally do not have pits. The next day, according to Winograd, Stroup brought in forms that he claimed were from his dental office. The forms “looked sketchy because it was all handwritten forms… It didn’t look official by any means,” said Winograd. It was at that point that Winograd decided it would be smart to Google Stroup. Following that online search, Winograd found an incriminating Facebook page from one of his sons, to whom he owed child support. Eventually, Winograd stumbled upon the Office of the Inspector General’s list of deadbeat dads – with Stroup’s name listed at the top.   Winograd alerted the authorities and Stroup was detained by the Canadian Border Services Agency and transported to the U.S. on February 15. He is in custody in Detroit, awaiting trial for child support violations.

CHILD SUPPORT

, and you receive a petition for child support, you respond appropriately.

RECEIVING A CHILD SUPPORT PETITION

Once you receive a child support petition, you must follow the instructions on that petition. This often means you will need to appear in court on a specific date. During the court hearing, a judge will examine your income, the other parent’s income, how much time the child spends with each parent, as well as any special circumstances regarding day care or medical expenses, and then determine how much you will pay in child support.

CHILD SUPPORT HEARING

To prepare for the child support hearing, you need to put together and bring the following to court: evidence of your income and any other court requested documents. If you do not believe you are the father of the child, and you have not been legally stated as the father, you are able to request a paternity test. If this request is accepted, the child will need to submit to the test before you are required to make child support payments.

FAILURE TO APPEAR OR PAY

If you do not appear at the child support hearing or do not make child support payments as ordered by the court, then the court can take measures to collect the unpaid payments. This might mean garnishing your wages, suspension of your driver’s license, or over legal actions, such as jail time and fines.

TOMLINSON AND JUNGWIRTH CO-PARENTING

In February Tomlinson purchased a home in Calabasas for Jungwirth and his son. He appears to be renting a $49,000 a month home in the Hollywood Hills to be close to his son so that he can be a more available to co-parent. Though it seems that Tomlinson and Jungwirth are on good terms, co-parenting can be very difficult – especially if you are not fond of the person you are expected to co-parent with. This means you’ll have to learn how to put the best interests of your children above your own, as well as learning how to form an amicable relationship, perhaps for the first time, with your ex. While you don’t necessarily have to become best friends, you’ll have to forge a happy medium and find how you can make the co-parenting relationship work. Here are some steps you can follow: Step One is to Realize Only You Are Able to Control You In order to create a co-parenting relationship, you must first realize the only person you can control is yourself. You don’t have any power over your ex, so don’t even both trying. If you can accept this fact and are able to control your own emotions and actions, you’ll have an easier time developing a co-parenting relationship. Hopefully, your example will carry over to your ex-spouse. Step Two is to Set Boundaries The next step you must learn in order to create a successful co-parenting relationship is how to set boundaries. Here are a few do’s and don’t’s to help you get started. Don’t:

• Sabotage the relationship your child has with the other parent.
• Use your child as a pawn to hurt or get back at your ex.
• Permit your child to speak badly when talking about the other parent.
• Use your child to get information, manipulate, and/or influence your ex.
• Transfer onto your child your hurt feelings and/or frustrations toward your ex.
• Force your child to choose a side whise scheduling conflicts occur.
• Put pressure on your child.
• Depend on your child for companionship or support too much when dealing with your divorce. Your child isn’t your thisapist.
• Become so emotionally needy your child begins to feel guilty about spending time with others. You would hate to discover they didn’t participate in social outings due to the fact they were afraid you weren’t able to deal with being alone.

Bottom line: Your child should not be burdened with situations they aren’t able to control. You shouldn’t saddle your children with your issues and emotional needs. Doing so will only create feelings of being helpless and insecure which could cause them to doubt their own abilities and strengths. It’s not their responsibility to hold you together and they shouldn’t feel it is. Children aren’t able to understand and deal with problems of adults and shouldn’t have to. Their focus should be on their own development, and your’s should be, too. Do’s:

• Sit down with your ex and create a plan whiseby differences are set aside so the focus can be put on meeting the needs of your children you will be co-parenting.
• Negotiate how to handle holidays, visitations, and events.
• Create guidelines for behavior of raising your children that each of you will adhise to. Children need consistency in their lives without regard as to which parent they’re with. This includes bed-times, phone privileges, etc. A child will frequently test situations and try to manipulate their boundaries. You and your ex must present a united front.
• Negotiate the roles of extended family members.
• Establish open communication with respect to the development of your child. This includes the ability to compare notes on situations and jointly deciding on any punishment.
• While it may be painful emotionally, you and your ex must decide to inform each other ob any changes in circumstances of their life. Your child shouldn’t be the source of “breaking news.”
• Determine that you’ll conduct yourself with emotional integrity and maturity.

WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS THE MOST

Putting your child’s needs first, there are certain things they’ll need during this time: structure, acceptance, assurance of their safety, freedom from blame or guilt that they were responsible for their parent’s divorce, two stable parents, and the freedom and permission to just be a kid and have fun.

CO-PARENT SCHEDULE ARRANGEMENTS

Guidelines are important for your emotional health, as well as to help define aspects of your co-parenting relationship. This is why schedules are important. Not necessarily a weekly one, but one that involves events and holidays. This schedule should be agreed on far in advance so that co-parents know what parent the child will be spending Christmas and other holidays with in order to avoid fights during the holidays. These agreements don’t have to be formal, but if they’re in writing it makes it harder to argue about. There are a number of online tools available to assist you in creating a co-parenting schedule.

ALWAYS BE FLEXIBLE

While it’s important to set arrangements, you need to be sensitive to your child’s needs, which means being flexible. If your child really wants to have a night with dad instead of mom, then it might be best for your child to do it. This is a difficult time your kids are trying to adapt to. You should encourage them to be honest when it comes to their emotions. You also should be sensitive to your child emotions, which often means putting your own emotions aside.

For advice on divorce, you need the expert law firm of 619 DIVORCE. Schedule a consultation today.

(619) DIVORCE
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San Diego, CA 92101
Phone: (619) 431-3131