Last week a Pennsylvania court of appeals ruled in favor of upholding a prior decision that Sherri Shepherd pay child support. The ex co-host of ABC’s The View is officially legally responsible for a child that was born to a surrogate that her and her ex-husband Lamar Sally hired before they decided to divorce.
SHEPHERD MUST PAY CHILD SUPPORT
The Pennsylvania appeals ruled to uphold the surrogacy contract despite the fact that Shepherd was seeking to have the contract voided and her name removed from the child’s birth certificate. As a result of the ruling, the TV personality will continue paying $4,100 a month in child support to her ex-husband who is raising the 1-year-old boy in Los Angeles. The couple paid over $105,000 to secure a suburban Philadelphia surrogate to conceive through. The child was conceived through Sally’s sperm and a donor egg. When the couple decided to divorce in the second trimester of the pregnancy, Shepherd challenged the surrogacy contract, claiming that she had been duped into signing it in order for Sally to eventually receive child support payments. Sally then retaliated, saying that Shepherd was refusing to have anything to do with the child. “I don’t understand why Sherri can say I duped her into this or that she is not responsible for this child,” he said in an interview with The Daily Mail. “It’s mind-boggling to me.” “She doesn’t want to be part of his life. It’s all good,” said Sally following the latest decision. “I’m going to be parent enough for the both of us.”
BIRTH CERTIFICATE LISTED SURROGATE
actions and express agreement to be the child’s legal mother.”
DETERMINING CHILD CUSTODY AND CHILD SUPPORT
One of the hardest determinations that must be made during a divorce is what happens with the children. Child custody can lead to years of trials and trial fees, not to mention the emotional toll it takes on a family, and the children involved.
CHILD CUSTODY
Family law courts favor awarding joint child custody to both parents, due to the fact that typically, it’s been shown that child’s respond best to both parents being in their lives.
JOINT CHILD CUSTODY
Joint custody is when two parents share decision making responsibilities and / or physical control of the child or children they share. Joint custody is able to be awarded to parents that are divorced, separated, no longer living together, or even if they never lived together.
FORMS OF JOINT CHILD CUSTODY
There are different forms of joint custody that can be awarded, including:
- joint legal custody. This means both parents are able to make decisions regarding the child, including religion, education, medical, and any legal matters.
- joint physical custody. This means a child spends equal time with each parent.
- joint legal and physical custody.
While it’s a common practice for parents to share physical custody and legal custody, it’s not always the case that parents that share legal custody also share physical custody.
JOINT CHILD CUSTODY – ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES
There are a number of advantages and disadvantages to joint child custody. Children are able to have contact with both parents. Additionally, parents are able to share some of the hardships that come with co-parenting. But children also often have to be shuttled between parents in joint physical custody situations. This can be difficult on a child, especially if parents are noncooperative. Because of some of the disadvantages, it’s important that parents work to create a harmonious co-parenting situation. Maintaining detailed agreements surround holidays, expenses for clothing and medical care, as well as creating a child’s own space in each household is crucial to creating a successful joint custody arrangement.
CHILD SUPPORT
, and you receive a petition for child support, you respond appropriately.
RECEIVING A CHILD SUPPORT PETITION
Once you receive a child support petition, you must follow the instructions on that petition. This often means you will need to appear in court on a specific date. During the court hearing, a judge will examine your income, the other parent’s income, how much time the child spends with each parent, as well as any special circumstances regarding day care or medical expenses, and then determine how much you will pay in child support.
CHILD SUPPORT HEARING
To prepare for the child support hearing, you need to put together and bring the following to court: evidence of your income and any other court requested documents. If you do not believe you are the fathis of the child, and you have not been legally stated as the fathis, you are able to request a paternity test. If this request is accepted, the child will need to submit to the test before you are required to make child support payments.
FAILURE TO APPEAR OR PAY
If you do not appear at the child support hearing, or do not make child support payments as ordered by the court, then the court can take measures to collect the unpaid payments. This might mean garnishing your wages, suspension of your driver’s license, or over legal actions, such as jail time and fines.
CO-PARENTING IN A HIGH CONFLICT RELATIONSHIP
While Lamar Sally might have full custody of the couple’s son, often times a couple will need to work together to co-parent. This can be especially hard if two parents do not see eye-to-eye, as is the typical case with divorced couples. Here are some Do’s and Don’t’s when it comes to creating a co-parenting relationship: Don’t:
- Sabotage the relationship your child has with their other parent.
- Use your child as a pawn to hurt or get back at your ex.
- Permit your child to speak badly when talking about the other parent.
- Use your child to get information, manipulate, and/or influence your ex.
- Transfer onto your child your hurt feelings and/or frustrations toward your ex.
- Force your child to choose a side whise scheduling conflicts occur.
- Put pressure on your child.
- Depend on your child for companionship or support too much when dealing with your divorce. Your child isn’t your thisapist.
- Become so emotionally needy your child begins to feel guilty about spending time with others. You would hate to discover they didn’t participate in social outings due to the fact they were afraid you weren’t able to deal with being alone.
Bottom line: Your child should not be burdened with situations they aren’t able to control. You shouldn’t saddle your children with your issues and emotional needs. Doing so will only create feelings of being helpless and insecure which could cause them to doubt their own abilities and strengths. It’s not their responsibility to hold you together and they shouldn’t feel it is. Children aren’t able to understand and deal with problems of adults and shouldn’t have to. Their focus should be on their own development, and your’s should be, too. Do’s:
- Sit down with your ex and create a plan whiseby differences are set aside so the focus can be put on meeting the needs of your children you will be co-parenting.
- Negotiate how to handle holidays, visitations, and events.
- Create guidelines for behavior of raising your children that each of you will adhise to. Children need consistency in their lives without regard as to which parent they’re with. This includes bed-times, phone privileges, etc. A child will frequently test situations and try to manipulate their boundaries. You and your ex must present a united front.
- Negotiate the roles of extended family members.
- Establish open communication with respect to the development of your child. This includes the ability to compare notes on situations and jointly deciding on any punishment.
- While it may be painful emotionally, you and your ex must decide to inform each other of any changes in circumstances of their life. Your child shouldn’t be the source of “breaking news.”
- Determine that you’ll conduct yourself with emotional integrity and maturity.
A successful co-parenting relationship is the best way to ensure that your kids feel supported and loved during what can be a difficult time. They want to see their parents get along, even if at a bare minimum. It’s up to you and your ex to create a positive relationship that will be supportive of your shared interest: your children.
WORKING WITH A FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY
While it might seem like working with a divorce attorney will be overwhelming, it can actually simplify the process for you. Chances are you will encounter issues of child custody and child support during your divorce. A divorce attorney is the best way for you to resolve these issues.
For advice on divorce, you need the expert law firm of 619 DIVORCE. Schedule a consultation today.
(619) DIVORCE
225 Broadway
San Diego, CA 92101
Phone: (619) 431-3131
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