One of the biggest celeb divorces of last year was Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. After 13 years of marriage, the rock-star couple decided to call it quits. A few months after, Stefani spoke openly about her divorce, saying that her life basically blew up in her face.
GWEN STEFANI TALKS ABOUT DIVORCE
When after 13 years of marriage and a decade of being together, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale decided to split up last August. As Stefani, 46, said in November, “My life is so extreme right now. My life basically blew up in my face. And now I’m in this new life, and it’s pretty awesome I have to say — I’m so inspired and being back on the show, and just being in a new place. Everything just feels new. I just feel inspired. I don’t know how else to describe it.” Shortly after her divorce, the mom of three, Kingston, 9, Zuma, 7, and Apollo,and ex-husband Rossdale, 50, settled their divorce. After more than a decade of marriage, it sounds like the singer was able to move forward with the help of her music. For fans of her music, the meaning behind her lyrics was fairly explicit. It seems the singer had no qualms about putting her emotions out for all the world to see “Everybody that hears a song, and I don’t have anything to hide. Everybody knows what my life was like before I was married. Could you imagine what my life is like now? It’s crazy!” While she was able to heal through music, the singer did explain that it was still a painful process. “On the way into the studio the first time, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to be in my bed, like, crying,” she shared. “And I did, I cried all the way down to Santa Monica, driving to Santa Monica, and I was like, ‘What am I doing? Why am I doing this?’”
But once she arrived at the studio, she felt she could let it go. “That feeling of being able to write again, that’s everything to me,” she shared. “My value on myself is by songwriting . . . I think within 8 weeks I had 19 songs . . . I was like, ‘Listen all I wanna do is I just want to say the truth. I just want the truth to come out. I just want to be honest and real that represents where I’m at right now.’”
Stefani described the process as “very spiritual.”
While it seems that Gwen Stefani has been able to move forward from her divorce – and is now even dating her co-star Blake Shelton, divorce can be a painful process, and a painful one to heal from. After your divorce is finalized, it’s time to move forward. Here are some tips for self-care after divorce:
- Change Your Diet Up
- Eat Healthy Foods
- Try to Keep to a Normal Schedule
- Get Sunshine
- Network of Support
- Try to Relax
- Practice Mindfulness
- Consider Getting Help Using a Therapist or Mental Health Professional
- Hold Off on Having Another Relationship
OPTIONS INSTEAD OF DIVORCE
When you’re debating if you should get divorced or not, there are additional options for you to consider.
LEGAL SEPARATION AND ANNULMENT
You might not need to file for divorce. There are two other options: legal separation or annulment (also called a nullity).
- Legal separation. This is a a legal process, granted in the form of a court order, by which a married couple can remain legally married while not living together. Some couples use this as a formal break, during which they have some time to decide if they would like to continue the marriage. There are often religious, insurance, tax, or other reasons for wanting a legal separation instead of a formal dissolution. With a legal separation you and your spouse will remain married, but the court (or you) can divide your property and issue orders relating to child custody, visitation, child support and spousal support, and, if necessary, a restraining order.
- Annulment. Being granted an annulment makes it as if your marriage never existed. There are specific requirements you will need to meet to have your marriage annulled. These include being a minor without the consent of your parents or guardian during the time of the marriage, or if certain types of fraud or deceit were involved. An annulment requires you appear in court.
The residency requirements for these are less harsh than standard divorces. Eithis of these can be obtained without having lived in California for six months or the county you are filing in for three months prior to filing, as is required for a standard divorce.
In California you are able to receive a simplified dissolution of marriage if you meet certain requirements. This is called a _summary dissolutio_n. This process requires less paperwork and you will not have to appear in court. You are eligible for a summary dissolution if you and your spouse have agreed in writing to a division of your assets and debts and if the following conditions are true:
- You have been married for five years or less.
- You have no children from the relationship.
- Neithis of you own a home or other real estate.
- The value of all community property amounts to less than $25,000, excluding automobiles.
- The value of eithis party’s separate property amounts to less than $25,000, excluding automobiles.
- Your combined debt does not exceed $4,000, except for auto loans.
- Both of you waive spousal support.
If both spouses agree to these terms, you can be granted a summary dissolution. This process can be as easy as filling out a form and turning it in to your local clerk’s office. Still, you might want to have a family law attorney review the forms before you file them.
AMOUNT OF TIME
In California, the mandatory waiting period required is 6 months. No couple, regardless of how “easy” their divorce is can be divorced faster than 6 months. This is the time it takes for the state to change your status from “married” to single”. You will be able to get all your paperwork turned in to the court and your divorce judgment approved, but the divorce itself will not be final until at least 6 months after the initial petition. In some cases, those that require a lot of things to be required, a divorce can take years. This is based on how much you decided to disagree and agree on.
FILING FOR DIVORCE
WORKING WITH A DIVORCE ATTORNEY
If you are facing a divorce, you need to work with a divorce attorney that can take a look at your specific situation and advise you on all the aspects of divorce you will be facing. This might mean decisions regarding retirement funds, property, child support and custody, and alimony. A divorce attorney will work with you to help you decide how you want to tackle these elements of your marriage and divorce, while also providing guidance and support.
San Diego, CA 92101
Phone: (619) 431-3131